Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
