Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
