overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
