hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize