Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am available for nakedness
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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