he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
