I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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