margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
