Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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