All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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