Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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