I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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