but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
