she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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