I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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