afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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