Apparently you make a good broom.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
