so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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