So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
