But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
