Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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