Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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