Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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