id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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