I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
