Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
