also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
