Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
