the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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