i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
