Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
