I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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