Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
nutella sex= disaster
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
