is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
