i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
