Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You took a bar mat shot.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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