she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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