What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
