Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In America we eat man semen.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
