her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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