in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize