I'm gonna have a badass scar
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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