We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
