dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
