Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
