don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
