The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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