...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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