Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
