never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
