It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
