she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
