i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
