The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
