So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
