no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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