Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
