I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
