I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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