just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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