yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
